Brain Fact Friday on ”The Neuroscience of Communication: Why Our Brain Doesn‘t Like the Word, NO!”

Welcome back to the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast for Brain Fact Friday and EPISODE #176 on “The Neuroscience of Communication: Why Our Brain Doesn’t Like the Word No!” I'm Andrea Samadi, author, and educator from Toronto, Canada, now in Arizona, and like many of you listening, have been fascinated with learning and understanding the science behind high performance strategies that we can use to improve our own productivity in our schools, our sports, and workplace environments. We can achieve outstanding and predictable outcomes with whatever it is we are working towards, when we act intentionally, with our brain in mind. This week’s Brain Fact Friday hit me this weekend when I was handed a book and asked what I thought of it. It was Jack Carew’s You’ll Never Get No for an Answer[i] with a copyright date of 1987! I looked at the cover of the book, and it was clearly written in the 1980s. The author was on the cover, dressed in a suit and pointing at you, the reader with the intention of making a connection. My gut reaction was far from what the author intended. I thought, “oh no, I can’t see how there’s anything relevant in this book, for today’s workplace” feeling that sense of neural dissonance or conflict at the brain level, but if this book wasn’t exceptional, I don’t think large sales organizations would still be using it, around the world, over 3 decades after it was written. I usually read books through Kindle on my iPhone, so when I have a physical copy, I love to flip through and see what I notice from the pages. We all have our styles of what we are looking for, and I noticed the interior looked “old” and I thought old-school, when I saw that the print wasn’t crisp or modern looking. And there weren’t many testimonials, just a couple, but the one on the front cover stood out. It was by Og Mandino, American author of the best-selling book, The Greatest Salesman in the World.[ii] Og is the most widely read inspirational and self-help author in the world. He was the former president of Success Unlimited magazine, the first recipient of the Napoleon Hill Gold Medal for literary achievement, a member of the International Speakers Hall of Fame and honored with the Masters of Influence by the National Speakers Association. Og Mandino sadly passed away in 1996 but his books continue to inspire thousands of people all over the world. So if a pro like Og Mandino said this book was “one of the most powerful and helpful books on salesmanship” that he had ever read, my brain went directly to Confirmation Bias, and I thought I had better not judge a book by its cover, and read it right away! I was shocked to see how Jack’s 10 strategies, written over 34 years ago, were timeless and relevant for anyone who wants to get their point across to someone else, not just those who are in sales. We all need to be able to persuade others whether it’s coming to a consensus in your personal life, or in the workplace, there is a power behind being able to naturally influence someone, without the use of force, which we all know negates. As I was reading his book, I wondered how his strategies could be connected to simple neuroscience, just like The Neuroscience of Personal Change, EPISODE #68[iii] where we took Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits book and connected each habit to brain science. I thought about the 10 unique strategies that Jack used to show us how to position ourselves to never receive that dreaded “no, I’m not interested” in whatever it is you are selling, or whatever idea you are trying to convey, and this thought inspired this week’s brain fact Friday on “The Neuroscience of Communication: Why Our Brain Doesn’t Like the Word No!” and with this I mean not just with the word no,  but looking at how the words you choose, and how exactly you say them can influence someone, or not.  I know Chris Gargano mentioned this in episode #166 when he was taking about leadership in the workplace. In a world where